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    haikupoet.com
    the haiku blog of paul david mena

    Monday, January 16, 2006

    northerly wind —
    the flagpole
    whistles


    or

    northerly wind —
    the flagpole whistles
    to itself

    8 Comments:

    Blogger Ayumi said...

    Hello.

    I like the first one.

    It is shorter and enough.

    7:22 PM  
    Blogger extraspecialbitter said...

    ayumi - well said! between you and me, I agree...

    8:37 PM  
    Blogger texas haijin said...

    i like both, however, the second is my favorite becomes it shows a truth. how seldom the flag seems to whistle only to itself. in our day and times, nobody looks to the flag, even if that weren't the case, she is not often a sight that we care to look at.

    maybe i'm odd.

    8:37 PM  
    Blogger texas haijin said...

    a few typos in there. :-)

    8:38 PM  
    Blogger extraspecialbitter said...

    dustin - I agree that the second haiku tells more of a story, but there's a part of me that wonders if it's a tad contrived. nevertheless, I liked both, which is why I posted both.

    and if you're odd, you're in good company. :^)

    8:42 PM  
    Blogger Denis said...

    I'll take the first.
    Pure image without commentary.

    Denis

    2:12 AM  
    Blogger Eric said...

    well, you know, having a bit of story teller in me. i lean towards the second one myself :)

    8:29 AM  
    Blogger mattm said...

    I'm with eric - it reads better

    3:55 PM  

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